I don’t know when it happened, and I couldn’t feel it happening, but at some point I stopped dreaming big.
I started to become more and more comfortable with living a normal life.
Nice two story home in a suburb, a husband to cater to, one or two kids I could make lunch for everyday, a dog to cuddle with, and once a month girls night outs to catch a break.
I didn’t realize it then, but me deciding to settle for that lifestyle, made me miserable. I wasn’t even living it yet and I was so unhappy.
Now if that sounds like your dream life that’s awesome! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But for me, that’s hell. It’s just not who I am.
I didn’t know it wasn’t who I was, because I didn’t know who I was lol.
All I knew was that I was unhappy with a life where that was my end all be all.
Luckily I was aware of myself enough to know I was becoming depressed, and I couldn’t stay that way.
Something had to change.
So I set out on the journey to figure out just exactly who I was, and what I liked, and didn’t.
An exciting journey, but a journey I knew I’d have to walk alone.
So now I’m here, 4 months later, I know it doesn’t sound like a long time, but 4 months ONLY focusing on discovering and loving yourself will do wonders!
Of course I’m not done with the process. I really don’t think it ever ends… things are constantly changing, which brings out parts of ourselves we didn’t know existed.
The biggest things I’ve learned already:
Kids…no longer a necessity. (This shocked the hell out of me) If it happens cool, if it doesn’t cool.
Relationships require nurturing, small compromises, understanding, honest communication, and like minded people.
Silence is necessary, but so is conversation.
If you choose to trust no one, you can’t be trusted.
Risk is inevitable, and whatever the result, it’s necessary.
That 80/20 rule applies to relationships.
The little shit just doesn’t matter.
Dreaming big is ok. This one was huge for me, because I’ve always dreamed super big, but I guess at some point self- doubt made me feel the bar was set too high.
I was playing myself…
I’ve got crazy, (some would say) unrealistic goals, that I have every intention on reaching.
Call me crazy…I really don’t give a fuck.
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